[Response Post]: the other me.

Today, I read a blog post of my friend Lydia. It was about her experience and thoughts of acting. Being an actress. The process that she went through to get to where she is now.

Reading her post, I couldn’t help but relate myself to this same subject of matter. The only difference was that my problem wasn’t about acting, but dancing and singing.

I’ve tried acting in 9th grade too, but I realized it’s just not my thing. But I still learned one thing while I was in that class: confidence makes all the difference. You have to enjoy yourself, whether it is the applaud you receive or even the mistakes that you make on stage. That’s all part of the process.

Since I started dancing my freshman year, I learned so much about being up on stage: the positive and negative things that I encounter along the process of getting to a performance. Right now, if I were to go up on stage and sing or dance in front of a crowd, I don’t get nervous. Is it because I have a whole line of fans supporting me? No.

It’s because I know that performing on stage isn’t always going to end up perfectly. For instance, just a couple days ago, I performed with some of my my friends at a talent show for my school festiva, the KIStival. I entered the song at the wrong time, the microphones weren’t working properly, my friend and I weren’t exactly synchronized when dancing. Somehow, even through all those mistakes and problems, I had such a good time that day. I enjoyed the wrong things as well as the bad.

After several years of going up and down the stage, it really is clear to me that if you are confident about what you do, you believe in yourself to do whatever it takes to reach your goal, and you enjoy every moment that you spend doing whatever you do, then you’re nowhere near trouble.

There are so many things in life that are more important than just being PERFECT. People care about things beyond what is seen with the eye. Now all you have to do is find the special something inside you that makes all your troubles invisible. Just like how I found the other me, possibly the better me, once I got up on that stage.

ending the year.

December 6, 2009.

Wait, what?! December?!

As I write the date on the top right corner of my homework assignment, I sit still for a while. Is it really December already? There’s less than a whole month left of 2009?

I can’t believe this. Just six months ago, I was complaining about the year going so slowly. I worried, “When will I ever start my college applications?” And now, here I sit in front of my computer, realizing that 2009 is about to meet its end.

Somehow, as I look back into this year (although I still have a few weeks until this year is really over, I’ll take a head start.), I believe it could have been both the best and worst year of my high school career.

I had my ups and downs. I could look back at one of my memories and just smile for the longest time, mesmerized by the emotions, sounds, and scenes that had been present at the time. I could also look back and feel tears about to fall down my cheeks as I remember the hard things I went through. At the beginning of this year, I didn’t expect myself to be caught up in so many new things going on in my life.

Right now, it seems as if I was ambushed with all the good and bad surprises all year long, unknowing of what would happen the next week, the next day, or even the very next hour.

My goal now is to make the rest of this year somehow as positive as I can. Do whatever it takes to assure yourself that you won’t regret how you spent the last several weeks of the year 2009.

Make it special. Make it fun. Make it real.

snapple fact.

Like many people, I tweet. I tweet about my personal life, as well as my school life. However, I tend to follow more than just other students like myself. I follow teachers, college students, professionals, public newspapers, and organizations. One of the twitters I love to follow is Snapple_Facts. Here are some of the interesting real facts that i thought were worth sharing!

#194 You don’t have to be a lawyer to be a Supreme Court Justice.

#795: Hawaii is moving toward Japan at the rate of 4 inches per year.

#62 The lifespan of a taste bud is 10 days.

#36 A duck’s quack doesn’t echo.

#214 Giraffes can lick their own eyes.

#42 Frogs cannot swallow with their eyes open.

#66 Americans, on average, eat 18 acres of pizza a day.

#184 The most used letters in the English language are E, T, A, O, I and N.

#52 Eleven percent of people in the world are left-handed.

#95 Squids can have eyeballs the size of volleyballs.

#251: There are more French restaurants in New York City than in Paris.

#492 To remove crayon marks from walls, use a hairdryer to heat the wax.

#137 The city of Los Angeles has three times more automobiles than people.

#31 The average human will eat an average of eight spiders while sleeping.

#99 You burn 20 calories an hour chewing gum.

#654 New York taxi drivers collectively speak 60 languages

#13 Cats have over 100 vocal chords.

#47 Giraffes have no vocal chords.

#463 The dot over the letter “I” is called a tittle.

this christmas.

I know that it’s still November, and that Christmas is a month away…but I couldn’t help myself from posting this video I found! These people are great singers – Andrew Garcia & Cathy Nguyen – from Youtube.

I can’t stop listening to this song.I hope you guys enjoy it!

thank you.

Somehow, I’ve been told so many times to be thankful for what I have. It’s an obvious fact that I’m thankful for the people I am able to be with, the school I go to, the things I own, and so much more. The question is: How much do we really express this gratefulness?

Express. Show. Communicate.

These words can be so simple to some people; extremely challenging to others. Everyone has a different personality. Take some of my friends for example. I have friends who can’t stop expressing their inner thoughts. The only way they are able to relieve their stress is by talking it out. On the other hand, I have friends who just keep practically everything to themselves. They feel more comfortable solving problems in their heads. Although I find myself in between these two personalities, I think both sides are reasonable.

Then, why am I writing this post ? Good question.

I just felt like I’ve been complaining so much these past few weeks. Stress is a scary thing and can get anybody in their worst moods. However, I realized that it shouldn’t be an excuse to stop being thankful for all the positive things of my life. It seemed almost necessary to let the world around me come to this realization too.

(photo via Armando Maynez)

We all know that a four-leaf clover symbolizes luck. While everybody searches for this rare clover, or luck, we completely ignore the beautiful garden of three-leaf clovers. Did you know that a three-leaf clover symbolizes happiness? People today search for something so difficult to find and something beyond their limits, that they overlook the abundant happiness they are blessed with.

Stop searching for the impossible. Dream, but limit your desires. Be thankful for everything you are already blessed with. Just take a look around…and you’ll understand what I’m saying.

never get too attached.

There has recently been way too much negative incidents going on in my life that it’s up to a point where my body is responding physically with pain, stress, and fatigue.

Many would wonder, why? Others would just turn their heads in boredom of just another blog full of complaints about the world. Think what you may, but I will continue to write this blog post.

For the first time in my life, during the past month or so, I have realized that getting too attached to anything or anybody is never good for me. Once I become mesmerized by one, it’s extremely difficult to get myself out of it. This also leads to the level of trust one person gives another. Trusting someone takes so much more effort and time than most people think. The scary thing is, all the effort can disappear in just moments.

As I have mentioned before, I went through several ‘betrayals’ in the past month. I wouldn’t necessarily say that somebody betrayed me; that would be a lie. Nevertheless, I am able to say that I was disappointed in those few people. Just when I thought that I knew them so well and that I could trust them with practically anything, my faith in them vanished with a silent poof. It amazed me how somebody could change in just days, maybe even minutes. I was left speechless as I witnessed these changes happening right in front of me and I could do no more than nothing to help myself out of this despair.

Why do people change?

I constantly asked myself this question, but could find no definite answer. It’s true that everybody changes a bit at one point or another. However, to change so much so fast…I didn’t even know that was possible. I never knew that someone’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions about another person could just change. Since I’m not talking about one specific incident, I am unable to explain myself further. I just need to clear my mind and accept the fact that I only stress out this much because that’s how much I cared.

So, I ask you guys.

Why do you think people change?

school closed down.

“Attention all teachers and all students. Please listen to the following very important announcements. Due to a large number of students absent, the school will close down for today and the rest of this week. 80% of our high school is absent and 56 parents called in to notify that their child is sick.”

Who knew the day we heard these announcements would be this Monday. The week when early applications are due. The week of the Haloween social. The week of the KAIAC volleyball tournament.

While everyone cheered on and on about how glad they were to be missing all their upcoming tests of the week, my fellow volleyball team members sat there wondering: Could this possibly be the only way to end our season? As a senior, this was my last year and my last volleyball season. It’s not like I would play volleyball like I did here at KIS, in high school. We were finally getting it down. We were confident enough to take our team to another level. However, our hopes and dreams weren’t enough.

Here I sit in my room on Friday night. The KAIAC volleyball tournament is from Friday-Saturday. In just a few hours, we would’ve been playing another game. We would’ve…we would’ve…we would’ve…

Sometimes I just wonder why things happen when they do. And I just wait for an answer to come to me. An explanation for all that is happening. I sit here, and wait.

a journey around the globe.

I’m sure many of you have heard of the Dutch girl who planned to take a trip around the world on a boat. Laura Dekker according to BBC, called herself a doer more than a dreamer. She took action about the dream she had of sailing around the world. However, even her actions weren’t enough to make this desire come true.

The Dutch child protection agencies declared that the trip would be much too dangerous for a young girl like Laura to take on her own. Even with her parents’ permission and support of the plan, her trip has been canceled.

All children grow up listening to their elders tell them to dream big. And once you have that big dream that you are proud of having, strive to achieve that goal. Do all that you can to make your dream come true. This thirteen-year-old girl did none other than follow these steps. She dreamed. She planned. She achieved–well, almost.

I understand the child protection agency for considering the dangers she is likely to encounter during her journey. However, I believe that their denial to her world-round trip may have crushed her expectations.

Yes, I am sure she’ll be able to fulfill this dream once she is older, but if I were in her situation, I would be quite disappointed. After spending all that time preparing and after all that excitement, a simple “no” made her entire dream come ot a stop.

I have my own dreams. I still have a long way till I am able to fulfill this dream. However, from reading about this young girl’s experience, I realized that dreaming…or even taking actions won’t always bring you success. You must know how to cope with the real world and consider the realistic consequences that are likely to approach. Like they say, nothing in this world is just given to you.

You have to fight for it.

being Korean.

I am South Korean. I live in South Korea. I eat Korean food. However, I don’t live the average life of a Korean student.

Just recently I read a blog by a fellow school student regarding this same topic. She wrote out a long list of stereotypes that people have about Koreans. Although the list doesn’t apply to every Korean out there, I couldn’t stop laughing while reading the list. I couldn’t agree more!

Here’s some of the ones I really thought was true:

1. You take pictures of everything. including your food, hands, and anything you can possibily imagine.

7. Kimchi and rice are necessities for every meal–breakfast, lunch, and dinner. and sometimes snacks too.

13. You ride the subway/bus everywhere.

22. You are good at piano.

26. Gaining one kilogram=I gained so much weight.

29. Your parents play golf.

37. You need your cellphone 24/7. Literally.

40. Kareoke rooms bring you great pleasure.

For the non-Korean readers out there, you may be reading this and thinking, “I do that too. I’m not Korean.” Yes, it’s true. Some of these aren’t simply related to being ‘Korean,’ but they just give you the basic idea of what typical Koreans value more than others. When the author of this blog post wrote this, I’m sure she didn’t have to do a separate research about this information. Just looking back to her every life, she was able to remember these factors that made her a ‘typical Korean.’

I’ve always wondered, “What would people think of Koreans after getting to know me? I know I look Korean, but do I really act or seem like a Korean? Do I give Koreans a better or worse reputation?” And I could never know the answer to these questions. After reading Lydia’s blog, I realized that I’m more Korean than I thought I was. Even though I lived seven years abroad and still go to an international school, I can’t change the fact that I’m Korean no matter what.

I believe it’s a positive thing, in my part. I feel proud that I’m Korean (although others may disagree). We’re not the best group of people in the world, but we’re clearly not the worst. Plus, I have my individuality that allows me to be Korean, but still live a Westernized life.

How much do you relate to your nationality?

finding guidance in the unexpected.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.              Proverbs 3:5-6

September of my senior year, it is the time of college applications and stressful days and nights. It has been long since I have really opened up my Bible and read for guidance. However, today, I was brought to an incredibly valuable message.

Sickening from all the stress and worries, I decided to take my hands off of my school work and listen to His words. And I really mean listen.

Just last week, my pastor had preached to me about living life as a Christian. What does this really mean? How do we call ourselves Christians and say we are ‘living life like Jesus’ when we are clearly not doing so? How can we tell others that we want to live the life that Jesus lived when we are not living by His words?

Yes, I’ll be honest–I had made my busy schedule an excuse to run away from my own guilt. However, I realized that running away never got me anywhere. I decided to face up to my issues and do all that I can to live the life I want to live: the right life.

I randomly opened up to a chapter in Provers and came to this verse:

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.             Proverbs 4:1-2

Reading these two verses literally brought chills. Just moments before, I had been stressing over whether I should stick to the safe side and apply to the schools that I truly believe I have a change with or take the risk and apply to more challenging schools. My father had told me to be confident, have faith, and challenge myself. Deep inside, a voice kept doubting my abilities. I had no confidence in myself.

And now, this message completely scattered my previous thoughts. I am back to making decisions regarding my future. What am I to do?